Loving Lately

Happy Memorial Day Weekend loves!

How To Have A Friend Or Family Member Officiate Your Wedding

While some of our clients envision a religious ceremony, and choose to invite a very special community leader to sanction their union, many of our clients feel more comfortable inviting a friend or family member to officiate their wedding. We’ve had the pleasure of working with parents, friends, siblings and cousins as the chosen officiant for our clients, and we love the interwoven personal anecdotes, emotion and jokes that always ensue. 

If you’ve asked that person to be a part of your day (and try to give them as much lead time as possible!) it can be tough to know what needs to happen next - especially if this is the first wedding they’ve officiated! We recommend carving out time to chat as a group (you + your partner + your officiant), and making sure that you cover three key things: 

• How do you want to feel during your ceremony? 

• What do you want to share with your guests? 

• How do you make sure the ceremony is actually legally binding?! 

How do you want to feel? 

This can be tough to put your finger on, but it’s a good idea to spend a little time here. Envision the moment that you’re squeezing hands with your partner, and your dear friend or relative is guiding you through your vows and ‘I Do’s.’ This is THE moment! Do you want to laugh? How do you feel about jokes or swearing? Do you want reminders of the commitment you’re making? Do you want it to be short and sweet?

What do you want to share with your guests? 

This can be super helpful if your officiant is unsure where to begin - as telling the story of your relationship is a great focal point for a ceremony script. However, are there parts of the story you don’t want them to mention? Are there parts that you don’t want left out? Your officiant may not know all of the different ways in which you and your partner have sacrificed and committed to one another over the years, but those can be beautiful stories to share on this special day. On the flip side, the last thing you want is to feel ‘on edge’ during your ceremony, wondering if your officiant may mention something sensitive or private. 

How do you make sure the ceremony is actually legally binding?! 

A somewhat important detail ;) And don’t worry, if you’re reading this at the last-minute, you still have time! Four elements will make this official…

Before the ceremony: 

1. The Ordination: Your officiant must be ‘ordained.’ You have a few options here, but we often recommend Universal Life Church online for a quick (same-day) ordination and helpful resources. 

During the ceremony: 

2. The Witness: One 18+ person present beyond just your officiant. Some states require two witnesses, so it’s always a good idea to check with your county clerk’s office if you are planning an intimate elopement. 

3. The Declaration of Intent: "(Name), do you take (Name), to be your wife…’ + the corresponding “I do’s.” This can be written however you want, as the only required phrasing are the actual words of intent “I do.” 

• The Pronouncement: The moment when your officiant states ‘By the power vested in me, I now pronouce you husband and wife/wife and wife/husband and husband/partners for life, etc)!’ 

After the ceremony: 

4. The Signatures: Ask your planner to allot ~15 minutes for you to sit with your officiant and sign your marriage license (any time after the ceremony). On the paperwork (if your officiant is ordained through the Universal Life Church, your officiant’s title will be "Minister"; the ceremony type is actually "Religious," and the denomination is Non-Denominational." If prompted to provide an address of ministry, your officiant should put their home address. Once this is complete, make sure to return the signed version to your county clerk’s office within 10 days. 

Congratulations on inviting a loved one into such a special fold of your wedding day experience. While of course you two will remember that moment forever - so will they!

xoxo Jessica

Loving Lately

Ways To Still Honor Your Wedding Date

If your wedding was postponed to a later date in 2020 or next year, this post is for YOU!

Wedding dates are a funny thing. You essentially are “married” to one specific date all throughout the planning process, from that moment you lock in your wedding venue and put down the initial deposit. Your date paints a roadmap for the rest of the planning process as you reach out to vendors, centralize your design theme, and create a timeline of action-items and due dates. With past ALE weddings, our clients picked their date for numerical reasons or because the date simply “had a nice ring to it” such as 7/11 and 10/10. For others, they selected their date for symbolic and sentimental reasons. Last November, one of our brides was married on her grandmother’s birthday and this meant a lot to the couple because grandma was the reason they got together in the first place (she set them up!). The bride asked her grandpa to officiate and it was one of the most heartfelt ceremonies we’ve witnessed!

No matter your attachment or reasoning, wedding dates become symbolic and may potentially impact how you feel leading up to your big day. As a bride, you go into what we like to call “bridal mode” during those several months leading up to your wedding. You mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to be the biggest day of your life. For many, this includes upping the self care routine, incorporating more workouts, or sticking to a balanced diet. Aside from physically and mentally getting into shape, you also have the many social and celebratory events on your calendar…your bachelorette party, bridal shower, dress fittings, hair and makeup trial, and more. It can be very surreal having to cancel all of these long-awaited dates…

However, among the many emotions you may be feeling right now, it’s important to realize the one thing that’s not being cancelled. And that’s LOVE. We’ve been encouraging our clients to still celebrate and embrace a love-filled day. Here are a few ideas we’ve brainstormed that you can do from the comfort of your home — feel free to share with any brides you know!

Honor the Wedding Morning

First, allow yourself to sleep in and get all the beauty rest possible! Wake up and begin the day as if it were your wedding morning - turn on an uplifting playlist, put on your wedding robe or pjs, throw on a face mask, and maybe take a bubble bath with candles. Pamper and relax. You deserve it all.

Plan A Joyful Itinerary

What kind of activities do you enjoy doing together and what will make the day feel extra special? Maybe it’s cooking breakfast together, playing cards, listening to music, walking your dog, making art, or putting on your favorite movie. Whatever they are, make sure they bring you both joy and weave them into the day’s itinerary.

Celebrate Virtually

Plan a virtual date with your families, best friends, or the wedding party. Trust us, your guests will be thinking of you when the date arrives so why not do a mini celebration and toast each other with champagne.

Set The Evening Scene

We believe ambiance is everything. Candles, a nice bottle of wine, a favorite home-cooked meal…need we say more? Heck, maybe even get a little dressed up for your ‘wedding night in’. Amidst quarantine living, there’s something kind of special now about showering, doing your hair, and throwing on a little makeup. Turn up your wedding playlist, attempt a new cocktail recipe, and twirl to your First Dance song. Make the evening FUN for the two of you!

We hope reading through these ideas will spark some others in mind. As always, we are here for you.

Sending virtual hugs,
Team ALE